mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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