This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
