What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
