For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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