I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
