I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
