YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
