I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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