He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Im part way to drunk.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
