Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
