you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
