Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
