they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
