Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
