Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
