so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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