i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
cat food counts as protein by the way
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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