Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
