he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
