Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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