Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Randomize
