Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
