their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
