I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
