was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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