Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
