doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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