I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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