I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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