I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
the room spins SO much faster in panama
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
