You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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