i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
