i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
my shit smells like andre
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He passed out mid-signature
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
i need some magic done to my vagina
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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