Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
