I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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