how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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