i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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