Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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