Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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