I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
