beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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