Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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