Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
