I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
