Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Less talking, more tequila
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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