they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
honey bunches of taint.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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