Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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