Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
