i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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