So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i just google imaged poop.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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