what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
