He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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