just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize